Dealing with the loss of a loved one
With all the insane craziness around the Harvest Festival Shooting, I can't think to wonder in shock not only about how many people died but their family members and friends who are in such pain and grieving right now. I've been crying over this sadness.
When I'm alone, I still get down and find myself wondering why my Sister is gone and asking the question over and over, Why did the cancer come back and kill her after all these years in remission? Even typing this I start to welt up in tears. She was so happy in her marriage with Brian in their perfect house in Downtown SLO with their Tiny Toy Poodle Bug and she was so happy in her sewing room making all her jewelry and hats that she finally got to sell after all the hard working years behind marketing and selling her pieces that it just seemed to crumble after her health took a beating when it returned.
When my sister passed she left me so many of her belongings. Her jewelry, purses, leggings and as I type this right now, I just painted my nails with copper gold nail polish that she left me also.
Again, it's only 2 days after the shooting and I can't imagine the trauma and shock of people seeing their friends and loved that got killed right in front of them. They were all having such a good time and no one deserved anything like this to happen.
After realizing the suffering that my city was enduring I finally felt for a moment that I'm not alone in feeling pain and suffering. As much as that sounds selfish, I feel now more than ever to do positive work with my life that really helps shape the community and help other people who are in pain.
I want to help people feel happy again and I want people who have lost a loved one to know that I am with them in feeling compassion and that I care. Losing my sister I've had to take some days way slower than others and even though each day gets just a tad bit closer to being able to handle the pain, missing her is what hurts the most and that will never go away. The pain of knowing Christine will never return never fads and the shock me realizing that that is my new reality to live with.
The most important thing I've found our from the 4 months of her being gone is to have loving and "REAL" people around you who can help you when you're at your lowest. Supportive family, friends, community group members, workout team, employees I don't care who they are but when you have someone who really knows you as a close friend, don't let them go. When you get someone who is willing to give a hug, volunteer, give compassion or take time to sit down and listen to what you want to get off your chest, there is no better relief than having someone give you their time to you and to truly truly care without wanting anything in return.
During the shooting, their were Uber and Lyft and TaxiCab Drivers taking away people to safer grounds or rushing them to the hospitals which was very heroic. So many volunteers stepped in to give their time to make food, bring water and SOOO many people gave blood that the blood banks were full. The City really stepped in to help and especially the nurses, EMT, Firefighters, Ambulance Drivers, Paramedics, Police Officers, Doctors and all the staff at the hospitals. Almost everyone in this city one way or another chipped in to donate or help in anyway they could which just was a blessing to see unfold.
I really feel blessed to live in such a loving city and see it come together when tragedy takes place and my hearts goes out to absolutely anyone that was affected by this crime. Such a senseless act of violence and for no reason at all. May everyone love their friends, families, pets and just be grateful you're alive and are loved. Thanks for reading my blog :)
When I'm alone, I still get down and find myself wondering why my Sister is gone and asking the question over and over, Why did the cancer come back and kill her after all these years in remission? Even typing this I start to welt up in tears. She was so happy in her marriage with Brian in their perfect house in Downtown SLO with their Tiny Toy Poodle Bug and she was so happy in her sewing room making all her jewelry and hats that she finally got to sell after all the hard working years behind marketing and selling her pieces that it just seemed to crumble after her health took a beating when it returned.
When my sister passed she left me so many of her belongings. Her jewelry, purses, leggings and as I type this right now, I just painted my nails with copper gold nail polish that she left me also.
Again, it's only 2 days after the shooting and I can't imagine the trauma and shock of people seeing their friends and loved that got killed right in front of them. They were all having such a good time and no one deserved anything like this to happen.
After realizing the suffering that my city was enduring I finally felt for a moment that I'm not alone in feeling pain and suffering. As much as that sounds selfish, I feel now more than ever to do positive work with my life that really helps shape the community and help other people who are in pain.
I want to help people feel happy again and I want people who have lost a loved one to know that I am with them in feeling compassion and that I care. Losing my sister I've had to take some days way slower than others and even though each day gets just a tad bit closer to being able to handle the pain, missing her is what hurts the most and that will never go away. The pain of knowing Christine will never return never fads and the shock me realizing that that is my new reality to live with.
The most important thing I've found our from the 4 months of her being gone is to have loving and "REAL" people around you who can help you when you're at your lowest. Supportive family, friends, community group members, workout team, employees I don't care who they are but when you have someone who really knows you as a close friend, don't let them go. When you get someone who is willing to give a hug, volunteer, give compassion or take time to sit down and listen to what you want to get off your chest, there is no better relief than having someone give you their time to you and to truly truly care without wanting anything in return.
During the shooting, their were Uber and Lyft and TaxiCab Drivers taking away people to safer grounds or rushing them to the hospitals which was very heroic. So many volunteers stepped in to give their time to make food, bring water and SOOO many people gave blood that the blood banks were full. The City really stepped in to help and especially the nurses, EMT, Firefighters, Ambulance Drivers, Paramedics, Police Officers, Doctors and all the staff at the hospitals. Almost everyone in this city one way or another chipped in to donate or help in anyway they could which just was a blessing to see unfold.
I really feel blessed to live in such a loving city and see it come together when tragedy takes place and my hearts goes out to absolutely anyone that was affected by this crime. Such a senseless act of violence and for no reason at all. May everyone love their friends, families, pets and just be grateful you're alive and are loved. Thanks for reading my blog :)
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