Michelle Davis Fitness

I have one week left to go until my NPC Bikini competition which means PEAK WEEK!  Thats where there is NO snacking what so ever! So stevia, salt, flavorings, spices nothing for one week!  The real mental shit starts to come out of the closet now. I've been posing every week for the last few months and I have my suits ready, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup and Spray Tan Specialist all set.  Registered for my NPC card and entered into show so now it's just dieting and waiting patiently. I mean, I've come this far but all in all, I have so been enjoying my experience learning about myself and picking myself up from where I was 2 years ago. Things I have been realized about myself is how codependent I am and how I turn to everyone around me to help me.  This is not something I'm proud to say but I am learning how to have real confidence on my own knowing that by becoming stronger inside and than I can benefit by not allowing other cognitive behaviors like anxie...

Every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up my sister Christine is on my mind.  I keep seeing the same image of her face right before she took her last breath and I'm having a hard time getting this harsh image out of my head. I had never seen someone die before let alone see my own sister be the first sight of death for me and that has literally been stapled in my mind. I keep thinking about how it wasn't easy of her to pass.  She was fighting so hard to live till the very end.  Not wanting to face the reality that dying was going to happen to her, she fought so hard in her head to not face the truth.  She literally did not want to face it at all until it was right in front of her and she had no choice but to accept to go to the other side. Every morning I wake up wondering what am I supposed to do with my life now?  I've lived everyday having her as my anchor and now, I'm in so much pain everyday missing her and the feeling of fami...

I'm exactly 2 weeks and 6 days out from my Bikini Fitness Competition and Golly Gee has the hard part began! I'm counting down the days when I can eat normal again.  I feel like my curves are shrinking and I'm starting to resemble the old me back in my mid twenties when I had an eating disorder.  I know my days of being skinny and unhealthy are over but to look in the Mirror and see what seems like my hard work wasting away to resemble the old me returning sure makes me think twice about how far I've grown for the better.  Thats a rewarding feeling that I'm proud about. At first, getting ready for a competition isn't so bad.  Just cook your meals and stay on your workouts and you'll be fine.  But if you have every tried eating natural sugar and then BAM completely stay away from white sugar completley, you really feel the cleansing process creep up after a few weeks.  Your body and mind start looking for alternative ways to create excitable habits tha...

With all the insane craziness around the Harvest Festival Shooting, I can't think to wonder in shock not only about how many people died but their family members and friends who are in such pain and grieving right now.  I've been crying over this sadness. When I'm alone, I still get down and find myself wondering why my Sister is gone and asking the question over and over, Why did the cancer come back and kill her after all these years in remission?  Even typing this I start to welt up in tears.  She was so happy in her marriage with Brian in their perfect house in Downtown SLO with their Tiny Toy Poodle Bug and she was so happy in her sewing room making all her jewelry and hats that she finally got to sell after all the hard working years behind marketing and selling her pieces that it just seemed to crumble after her health took a beating when it returned. When my sister passed she left me so many of her belongings.  Her jewelry, purses, leggings and as I t...